Unfortunately, there are things that happen in our lives and in the world around us, over which we have no control. No matter how hard we may try to avoid or prevent bad experiences, they are a part of life.
Having said that - although we can't control the people and circumstances outside of ourselves, we can have power over our experience of them.
The mass shooting in Las Vegas last weekend was a terrible shock, and a traumatic event – not only for those affected directly by event, but for those who have witnessed – and continue to witness - the news coverage. The tragedy has resulted in a range of powerful emotional reactions. Here are a few points to consider in your own reaction, followed by five things you can do in response to these events, that are positive and productive.
Points to Consider:
What can You do?
If you are able to help in some way, put your focus on that. In other words, if you are able to physically be there to help, or you are able to contribute in some other constructive way, put your focus on the positive result you are aiming to achieve by that action.
If you are not able to take some kind of action that will contribute to the recovery or restoration in some way, here are five positive steps you can take right now... Continue reading
Points to Consider:
- Reading about the traumatic event, watching the news, listening to commentary, and participating in social media discussions means your focus is on the tragedy and all of the aspects of that tragedy.
- While you are focused on the event and all that is terrible about it, your brain and body are producing stress chemicals (which are resulting in the emotions of fear, rage, hate, anger, grief and other stress states)
- None of these emotions, no matter how strongly you feel them, are going to result in undoing the tragedy, preventing further tragedies, healing the injured, bringing back those who lost their lives, or comforting the families of the victims.
- The only result of those emotions is that your body is put into a state of emergency (fight, freeze or flight) which is having a knock-on effect on your health, social life, work life, productivity, creativity, relationships, and so much else. The way you feel affects everything you do.
What can You do?
If you are able to help in some way, put your focus on that. In other words, if you are able to physically be there to help, or you are able to contribute in some other constructive way, put your focus on the positive result you are aiming to achieve by that action.
If you are not able to take some kind of action that will contribute to the recovery or restoration in some way, here are five positive steps you can take right now... Continue reading
Resources, Advice and Guidance for Dealing with Traumatic Events
Bad things happen, and despite all our good intentions, most of those bad things are beyond our control. This means we have a choice:
1. Continue focusing on what we can't change, and experience the effects of that option.
2. Take the wheel - take over the controls within ourselves, and change our own experience - and thereby, change our relationship with the world around us.
1. Continue focusing on what we can't change, and experience the effects of that option.
2. Take the wheel - take over the controls within ourselves, and change our own experience - and thereby, change our relationship with the world around us.
Option One:
The body follows the mind. This means that wherever we put our focus determines the physiological response in the body. When you focus on how terrible things are, and how helpless you are to change them, your brain and body produce chemicals that perpetuate those feelings and emotions. This becomes a vicious circle. The more you focus on the negative, the more those stress chemicals are pumped through your blood stream. And the more those chemicals fill your body, the stronger the feelings of helplessness, fear, rage, hopelessness, etc. And the stronger those feelings, the more you're drawn to focus on the topic.
The body follows the mind. This means that wherever we put our focus determines the physiological response in the body. When you focus on how terrible things are, and how helpless you are to change them, your brain and body produce chemicals that perpetuate those feelings and emotions. This becomes a vicious circle. The more you focus on the negative, the more those stress chemicals are pumped through your blood stream. And the more those chemicals fill your body, the stronger the feelings of helplessness, fear, rage, hopelessness, etc. And the stronger those feelings, the more you're drawn to focus on the topic.
Option Two:
If you can do something to help the victims or their families, that's great - do it. And bear in mind that you will be of more help if you are calm and positive. When you are in any kind of negative state, the prefrontal cortex of your brain (where you do your cognitive thinking) shuts down, and your judgement, perception and perspective are impacted. Being in a positive, calm emotional state keeps that part of your brain online - which means you are more capable of problem-solving, noticing opportunities, strategic thinking, and processing of information.
If you can't do anything to help right now, focusing on the terribleness of the situation and the suffering of the victims and their families does absolutely nothing to help them or the situation. All it does is add more darkness to the darkness - and negatively affects your own life and those around you. Bearing in mind, as mentioned above, while you're in a negative emotional state, your cognitive thinking is offline, all areas of your life will be impacted by this state - your judgement and perception will affect your decisions and choices; your motivation, creativity, productivity, and ability to process information will affect your work life and your relationships.
The solution is to do whatever it takes to take your focus off the situation and the effects of it. This can seem counter-intuitive and difficult, but the truth is - there is no logical reason to maintain the negative emotional and mental state. There is every reason to pull out of it, bring that prefrontal cortex back online, and do what you can within your own life, to make the world a better place. However, you cannot make the world a better place from a position of fear, anger, helplessness, indignation, or any other negative state - because, apart from anything else, the part of your brain that provides the resources needed for strategic action and decisions is not working while you're in that state.
If you can do something to help the victims or their families, that's great - do it. And bear in mind that you will be of more help if you are calm and positive. When you are in any kind of negative state, the prefrontal cortex of your brain (where you do your cognitive thinking) shuts down, and your judgement, perception and perspective are impacted. Being in a positive, calm emotional state keeps that part of your brain online - which means you are more capable of problem-solving, noticing opportunities, strategic thinking, and processing of information.
If you can't do anything to help right now, focusing on the terribleness of the situation and the suffering of the victims and their families does absolutely nothing to help them or the situation. All it does is add more darkness to the darkness - and negatively affects your own life and those around you. Bearing in mind, as mentioned above, while you're in a negative emotional state, your cognitive thinking is offline, all areas of your life will be impacted by this state - your judgement and perception will affect your decisions and choices; your motivation, creativity, productivity, and ability to process information will affect your work life and your relationships.
The solution is to do whatever it takes to take your focus off the situation and the effects of it. This can seem counter-intuitive and difficult, but the truth is - there is no logical reason to maintain the negative emotional and mental state. There is every reason to pull out of it, bring that prefrontal cortex back online, and do what you can within your own life, to make the world a better place. However, you cannot make the world a better place from a position of fear, anger, helplessness, indignation, or any other negative state - because, apart from anything else, the part of your brain that provides the resources needed for strategic action and decisions is not working while you're in that state.
Why is it So Hard?
Once you're in a negative emotional state, it can be very difficult to get out of it. There are two main reasons for this:
1. The stress chemicals that cause negative emotions are more powerful than the chemicals that cause good feelings. The reason for this is evolution and survival. It's more important that we take notice and believe in the negative feelings so that we will do whatever it takes to get away/fight/ remember not to go back there or repeat that experience. As far as the survival instinct is concerned, remembering good experiences is not essential - which is why those chemicals aren't as strong.
2. The body and brain are producing matching chemicals to whatever you are focusing on or thinking about. As long as you are thinking about the event, reading about it, watching the news, listening to interviews and reports, and talking about it, your brain and body are continuing to produce those stress chemicals that make you feel the feelings of fear, anger, outrage, hopelessness, helplessness, and so on.
This is why it's hard to pull away from the subject and get out of the negative emotional state. And it's also why you have to take the controls, and consciously choose to make an executive decision - and do whatever it takes to get yourself away from the topic. Once you're able to dilute those stress chemicals with endorphins, and get your body and brain back into chemical balance, your prefrontal cortex will come back online, and you will notice a powerful difference in how you feel and how you think. You will also be able to either take positive, productive and helpful action, or at least get on with making the best of your own life for yourself and those around you.
Once you're in a negative emotional state, it can be very difficult to get out of it. There are two main reasons for this:
1. The stress chemicals that cause negative emotions are more powerful than the chemicals that cause good feelings. The reason for this is evolution and survival. It's more important that we take notice and believe in the negative feelings so that we will do whatever it takes to get away/fight/ remember not to go back there or repeat that experience. As far as the survival instinct is concerned, remembering good experiences is not essential - which is why those chemicals aren't as strong.
2. The body and brain are producing matching chemicals to whatever you are focusing on or thinking about. As long as you are thinking about the event, reading about it, watching the news, listening to interviews and reports, and talking about it, your brain and body are continuing to produce those stress chemicals that make you feel the feelings of fear, anger, outrage, hopelessness, helplessness, and so on.
This is why it's hard to pull away from the subject and get out of the negative emotional state. And it's also why you have to take the controls, and consciously choose to make an executive decision - and do whatever it takes to get yourself away from the topic. Once you're able to dilute those stress chemicals with endorphins, and get your body and brain back into chemical balance, your prefrontal cortex will come back online, and you will notice a powerful difference in how you feel and how you think. You will also be able to either take positive, productive and helpful action, or at least get on with making the best of your own life for yourself and those around you.
How to Free Yourself
Now you know why it's important to free yourself from this vicious circle, here's how to do it.
Right now, the top priority is to pull yourself out of the intense negative emotional state. This can be difficult to do, but it is possible.
Step One: Make the Decision
The most important step is making the decision. Making the decision to take conscious control of your focus. You are the boss of you, and you are the only one who can truly take control of where you put your focus.
Step Two: Turn Your Head
Choose to take your focus off everything to do with the traumatic event and the aftereffects. This can be the most difficult part because you will probably feel a compulsion to keep focusing on it. The reason for the compulsion is purely brain chemicals. You are getting a chemical hit - just like taking a drug - every time you focus on something and feel a negative emotion. This can be as difficult to resist as taking a recreational drug. Recognizing this can help you to make that decision. Once you clear your system of these stress chemicals, it will be easier to resist.
Step Three: Choose Your Focus
Choose to focus on something else. Something that makes you feel good. Now, when you're in the middle of an intense negative emotional state, it may seem like nothing would feel good, but here's where you need to again remind yourself that what you're feeling are stress chemicals - and they're designed to hold you in that state (evolution; survival and all that!). It's up to you to do something that will cause the production of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals, to dilute the stress chemicals and get your brain and body back to a balanced state. Here are a few examples and ideas:
* Watch a funny video on YouTube
* Watch an interesting TED Talk (Note: make sure it's something uplifting and inspiring or fascinating - and not something that will produce more stress chemicals!)
* Do some physical exercise - go for a walk or run; do a workout; dance; walk your dog; play a sport - this is a very quick way to get stress chemicals out of your system and replace them with endorphins
* Play a game that you enjoy
* Play with pets or children
* Meditation, mindfulness or yoga
* Do an activity or hobby you love
* Help someone else with their problem
Do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the intense negative emotional state.
Step Four: Clear the Subconscious Programming
Now, use CMT to change the references in your subconscious that are causing those intense emotional reactions. Note: It is not the event or the circumstances that are causing your reaction, it is your perception of them. The result: You will be able to be compassionate and calm and loving, without the stress, fear, anger, and other negative emotions. This will enable you to not only make more of your own life, but also to have a powerful and positive effect on those around you.
Step Five: The Power of the Search for Gratitude
Think of things to be grateful for. You don't need to find any - just looking for them changes your brain! Gratitude (and even just attempting to feel gratitude) has a powerful effect on your brain and body chemistry.
Step Six: A New Routine!
Create a New Routine. Instead of watching, reading or listening to the news - watch, read or listen to something uplifting and inspiring. There are so many options. Choose to give your brain and body a hit of endorphins instead of stress chemicals. Start your day with something that entertains or uplifts you. Something funny, or inspirational. Make a list of ideas of how you can bring hope, love, and joy to someone else. On social media, instead of getting caught up in posts and comments on the traumatic event, choose to post messages of hope, love and appreciation - even if it's just a comment on a loved-one's page (or a private message) that says something like: "Thinking of you and how much I appreciate you".
Right now, the top priority is to pull yourself out of the intense negative emotional state. This can be difficult to do, but it is possible.
Step One: Make the Decision
The most important step is making the decision. Making the decision to take conscious control of your focus. You are the boss of you, and you are the only one who can truly take control of where you put your focus.
Step Two: Turn Your Head
Choose to take your focus off everything to do with the traumatic event and the aftereffects. This can be the most difficult part because you will probably feel a compulsion to keep focusing on it. The reason for the compulsion is purely brain chemicals. You are getting a chemical hit - just like taking a drug - every time you focus on something and feel a negative emotion. This can be as difficult to resist as taking a recreational drug. Recognizing this can help you to make that decision. Once you clear your system of these stress chemicals, it will be easier to resist.
Step Three: Choose Your Focus
Choose to focus on something else. Something that makes you feel good. Now, when you're in the middle of an intense negative emotional state, it may seem like nothing would feel good, but here's where you need to again remind yourself that what you're feeling are stress chemicals - and they're designed to hold you in that state (evolution; survival and all that!). It's up to you to do something that will cause the production of endorphins and other feel-good chemicals, to dilute the stress chemicals and get your brain and body back to a balanced state. Here are a few examples and ideas:
* Watch a funny video on YouTube
* Watch an interesting TED Talk (Note: make sure it's something uplifting and inspiring or fascinating - and not something that will produce more stress chemicals!)
* Do some physical exercise - go for a walk or run; do a workout; dance; walk your dog; play a sport - this is a very quick way to get stress chemicals out of your system and replace them with endorphins
* Play a game that you enjoy
* Play with pets or children
* Meditation, mindfulness or yoga
* Do an activity or hobby you love
* Help someone else with their problem
Do whatever it takes to pull yourself out of the intense negative emotional state.
Step Four: Clear the Subconscious Programming
Now, use CMT to change the references in your subconscious that are causing those intense emotional reactions. Note: It is not the event or the circumstances that are causing your reaction, it is your perception of them. The result: You will be able to be compassionate and calm and loving, without the stress, fear, anger, and other negative emotions. This will enable you to not only make more of your own life, but also to have a powerful and positive effect on those around you.
Step Five: The Power of the Search for Gratitude
Think of things to be grateful for. You don't need to find any - just looking for them changes your brain! Gratitude (and even just attempting to feel gratitude) has a powerful effect on your brain and body chemistry.
Step Six: A New Routine!
Create a New Routine. Instead of watching, reading or listening to the news - watch, read or listen to something uplifting and inspiring. There are so many options. Choose to give your brain and body a hit of endorphins instead of stress chemicals. Start your day with something that entertains or uplifts you. Something funny, or inspirational. Make a list of ideas of how you can bring hope, love, and joy to someone else. On social media, instead of getting caught up in posts and comments on the traumatic event, choose to post messages of hope, love and appreciation - even if it's just a comment on a loved-one's page (or a private message) that says something like: "Thinking of you and how much I appreciate you".
Keeping your focus on creating, in your own life, more of what you would like to see in the world, will not only feel better - it will mean you are doing so much more for others than you would if you were staying focused on the tragedy. It will mean you are bringing hope, inspiration, and love to people, by example - and you may never know how powerfully you impacted the life of someone who needed it.
More Resources
For more help and guidance, join our Facebook Group: The Remmert Method
For private one-to-one consultations, visit: Individual Consultations
Watch our YouTube videos for more tips, techniques, and advice on dealing with challenges: http://www.youtube.com/c/FastTrackSubconsciousReprogramming
For private one-to-one consultations, visit: Individual Consultations
Watch our YouTube videos for more tips, techniques, and advice on dealing with challenges: http://www.youtube.com/c/FastTrackSubconsciousReprogramming
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